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but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.Suddenly, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in a bar without hitting someone trying to rock a fuzzy top-hat and black nail polish or a shiny silk jacket, spiky earrings and New Rock boots. I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize… The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.They could be swapped out for the nearest stranger.Nobody likes feeling like an interchangeable, anonymous cog, easily replaceable and ultimately unmemorable.

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Everybody else was hoping that their outfits were going to do most of the heavy lifting for them and generally looked like idiots.Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results. You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr. and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.




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