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In my experience, there are very few women who treat men as if they’re good for nothing but sex. So yeah, a man’s ability to separate sex and love is another valid reason he’s not terribly upset when he’s single.

When a man hangs out with another man, he’ll watch sports, play poker, talk trash, grab a few drinks, and maybe talk about whether he’s hooking up.

This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun. This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a 72” Sony instead of a 64” Vizio. Women, who are, in general, more emotional and intuitive, are more likely to define their lives by their relationships.

As I look at that list, it occurs to me that most of my clients who are perfectly content being single are satisfied with their female friendships. So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help.

In other words, even if men feel the emotional need to connect, they rarely reach out to do so – with each other, with their families, and with you. As a result of all of these biological and societal observations about men, it shouldn’t be too surprising that there are no Time Magazine cover stories or best-selling books about desperate men. Why are you okay not being in a relationship – and how is this different than the women you know? I agree that women have outlandishly unrealistic expectations for love and relationships.

Women talk about their feelings with much greater frequency and intensity, further feeding the perception/reality that they care more about relationships. Sex – Perhaps Charlie Sheen said it best, years ago, when talking about his predilection for prostitutes: “I don’t pay them for sex. We can separate sex and love, we define ourselves by our work, we don’t lack dating options, we get 95% of our needs met without female companionship, and we don’t talk about relationships nearly as much. Blame movies, Disney fairy tales, whatever you want but the fact remains that when your expectations don’t line up with reality, severe disappointment is the result.




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